Saturday, October 23, 2010

A serious case of...

"Mom Guilt"

You are right folks, that is what I diagnosed myself with. Is it contagious? Not really. Some moms may have experienced this feeling from time to time during the course of their motherhood. Others may not have.

What is mom guilt you ask? For me, it is when you have more then one child and you have to "neglect" one child to tend to the other child. By no means am I neglecting Constance in a sense of food, shelter, love and security. However, Levi, is...well...a little on the needy side.

At this point my readers may jump in and say, "Of course he is needy! He is a newborn." To that I would reply, "Levi is more needy then the typical newborn needyness." (For all my English majors out there please don't cringe at my made up word). He eats roughly every two hours and really is not content unless he is being held. Holding him 24/7 is impossible and it cuts into my play time with my daughter.

For example, I lay Levi down (who is already fast asleep) and begin to play with my daughter. We are just starting to have a good time when Levi, who realizes he is no longer being held, wakes up crying. I try to ignore it at first and continue to play. Levi gets a little louder. I am getting a bit anxious but once again ignore the complaints coming from this tiny tyrant. Continue to play. The complaints turn into loud screams as I rush over to comfort him. My daughter is then left with incomplete and insufficient mommy time. And so goes my day. I have tried to give him a pacifier which he promptly spits out in disgust.

Do not get me wrong, I do get some uninterrupted time with Constance from time to time. I could just hold Levi while playing with her, but that does not seem fair.

Any advice from veteran mom's would be great!!
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 25, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    I feel your pain on the eating every 2 hours part. Elijah ate every 1 1/2 to 2 hours religiously. Wadley boys are hungry babies, I guess. ;)

    But seriously a bouncy seat or something to the effect that makes him feel like he's still being held worked with Elijah. That consistent movement that a seat like that provides may trick him into feeling like he's being held. Other than that, let him cry. I know it's hard, but try and pat him on his back or rub his head or something like that so he can learn to self-sooth.

    Do you have a Mother Bear with the heartbeat sounds? I put that in Elijah's crib and it helped.

    I like the sling you have too. If you feel like he'll only be okay when he feels like he's being held use a sling/pouch to hold him close to you while freeing up your arms to play with PB&J. ;)

    Unfortunately, with 2 lil' ones there must be a compromise. And when he's a couple of months older you can put him in a swing while you and she play.

    I'd love to tell you that Mommy guilt goes away, but there is always something to feel guilty about. We just do the best we can. Love you!

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  2. davenkimOctober 25, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    Yep, guilt is an emotion I felt every moment on from the time Nicholas arrived four years after Jeremy, and you arrived three years after that. I don't think it ever goes away. You just have to do your best, pray a lot, and trust that God will make up the difference! You are an excellent mommy, and believe it or not, Levi will not always be this needy. He is going to get older and busier, and more things will interest him to keep his attention.

    Take advantage of the times Keith is home, or Mom comes to babysit, and use those times to spend extra time with Constance. The housework will always be there, but the time spent with your children is very brief because they are only little for such a short time.

    You are doing a great job with both of your children, and I am very proud of you!

    Love and Hugs,
    Mom

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