"Mom Guilt"
You are right folks, that is what I diagnosed myself with. Is it contagious? Not really. Some moms may have experienced this feeling from time to time during the course of their motherhood. Others may not have.
What is mom guilt you ask? For me, it is when you have more then one child and you have to "neglect" one child to tend to the other child. By no means am I neglecting Constance in a sense of food, shelter, love and security. However, Levi, is...well...a little on the needy side.
At this point my readers may jump in and say, "Of course he is needy! He is a newborn." To that I would reply, "Levi is more needy then the typical newborn needyness." (For all my English majors out there please don't cringe at my made up word). He eats roughly every two hours and really is not content unless he is being held. Holding him 24/7 is impossible and it cuts into my play time with my daughter.
For example, I lay Levi down (who is already fast asleep) and begin to play with my daughter. We are just starting to have a good time when Levi, who realizes he is no longer being held, wakes up crying. I try to ignore it at first and continue to play. Levi gets a little louder. I am getting a bit anxious but once again ignore the complaints coming from this tiny tyrant. Continue to play. The complaints turn into loud screams as I rush over to comfort him. My daughter is then left with incomplete and insufficient mommy time. And so goes my day. I have tried to give him a pacifier which he promptly spits out in disgust.
Do not get me wrong, I do get some uninterrupted time with Constance from time to time. I could just hold Levi while playing with her, but that does not seem fair.
Any advice from veteran mom's would be great!!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Updates
What is new in the world of Constance you ask?
*She says so many new words now that I can not keep up with them! Her newest word is "Jesus" however. Keith and I certainly have a talker on our hands.
*Her favorite food is still fruit. Every meal she gets fruit and typically it is the only thing she will finish. She is trying new foods though which I am very thankful for.
*She has blonde hair and hazel eyes. I though she was going to be a lefty but over the past few weeks she has been favoring her right hand.
*She LOVES Dora the Explorer and will ask for her by name.
*I am convinced that she is going to be a Veterinarian when she grows up. I have never seen a child so young who is this interested in animals. She loves cats especially.
*Constance has the greatest personality. She has a way of making anything...exciting.
*She loves baths and playing outside.
*She is definitely almost two! We are slowly being introduced into the world of two year olds. She likes to push boundaries and can get upset over the simplest things!
*Constance is also very brave. The bigger the slide the better! She gets that from her daddy.
As for Mister Levi, there is not much to tell.
*He is a little over 1 month old. Wow! When did that happen?
*He acts like he is hungry all the time and usually does not make it past 2 hours during the day before he demands to be fed again. Thankfully at night, he goes a little longer then that.
*Levi is trying to set the record for how many diapers he can go through before he is 2 months old.
I love being a mommy!
*She says so many new words now that I can not keep up with them! Her newest word is "Jesus" however. Keith and I certainly have a talker on our hands.
*Her favorite food is still fruit. Every meal she gets fruit and typically it is the only thing she will finish. She is trying new foods though which I am very thankful for.
*She has blonde hair and hazel eyes. I though she was going to be a lefty but over the past few weeks she has been favoring her right hand.
*She LOVES Dora the Explorer and will ask for her by name.
*I am convinced that she is going to be a Veterinarian when she grows up. I have never seen a child so young who is this interested in animals. She loves cats especially.
*Constance has the greatest personality. She has a way of making anything...exciting.
*She loves baths and playing outside.
*She is definitely almost two! We are slowly being introduced into the world of two year olds. She likes to push boundaries and can get upset over the simplest things!
*Constance is also very brave. The bigger the slide the better! She gets that from her daddy.
As for Mister Levi, there is not much to tell.
*He is a little over 1 month old. Wow! When did that happen?
*He acts like he is hungry all the time and usually does not make it past 2 hours during the day before he demands to be fed again. Thankfully at night, he goes a little longer then that.
*Levi is trying to set the record for how many diapers he can go through before he is 2 months old.
I love being a mommy!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Mommy to Two
Hello Blogger world! Some of my faithful readers may have given up all hope of ever seeing another post from me. I can't say I blame you though. It has been four months since my last post, which was not even written by me, but by my husband. And before that, my postings were very inconsistent.
However, I am making another attempt to begin blogging again. Maybe I should set aside one day a week or every two weeks where I blog atleast...something. Not that our lives are very exciting or anything or that I expect you to wait at your computer every day impatiently waiting for what I will write about next. However, life with children, two small children at that, can provide for some very entertaining stories. Feel free to laugh at me as I attempt this thing called Parenthood. It will take me a little time to update pictures but trust me, they will come.
However, I am making another attempt to begin blogging again. Maybe I should set aside one day a week or every two weeks where I blog atleast...something. Not that our lives are very exciting or anything or that I expect you to wait at your computer every day impatiently waiting for what I will write about next. However, life with children, two small children at that, can provide for some very entertaining stories. Feel free to laugh at me as I attempt this thing called Parenthood. It will take me a little time to update pictures but trust me, they will come.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Before and After
It is amazing how things change when a little child enters your life. It makes you realize how selfish you were before with your time and money. But now we run into being selfish still with our time and money, but in a familial kind of way. I think that our idea of family is different than anyone we have ever met. We were not raised the way we view family, it just sort of happened. Some people who don't know us (and some who do) think of our actions as selfish, and I think the rest of our friends just know that we are passionate about the home unit. Let me try to put this into a more specific detail.
We do not make plans as an individual without checking with each other first. If I want to spend some time with a friend of mine then I will make sure that I have not been neglecting my wife and child with my school, housework, yardwork, etc... to where this will further alienate me from them. I have a responsibility to my wife and kid(s) to be a husband and a father before I have a responsibility to be a friend to someone else. I do believe in the importance of friendship outside of my spouse, however, my best friend needs to be my spouse and maintaining the health of that friendship is tantamount above all other relationships. If more people thought along these lines then you might see a drop in the divorce rate in our country, but that is not a guarantee considering how many factors go into a decision to separate from covenant vows.
Another example is with our daughter. We do not put her in nurseries or any sort of childcare. I am not going to let a family friend watch her, and barely will we let our own families watch her. People keep telling us, and I believe behind our backs at that, that we need to learn to let others watch her so we can have "us" time or so they can get time with our daughter. That is our call to make. First off, I only know a handful of people intimately to where I know if they are a pedophile or not. Sorry family, but if we don't talk about your vices in advance and only talk about the weather and safe subjects then you are not on the list of approved people. Honesty and transparency are key to watching our daughter. Moreover, I want our daughter to see her mommy and daddy in love and creating a healthy marriage. I want her to learn how to worship, understand the sermon, and fellowship at church (a book that has helped us find support for keeping our kid in service is called Parenting in the Pew). Thankfully we are not the only ones doing this one as is evident by how many others we see keeping their kids of all ages in church with them. If our daughter does not want to come to you then DO NOT pry her from her mother's arms. Somebody will end up with a bloody nose before this over with because my wife's patience is about shot on this one. So if you were thinking about doing this then stop yourself now. We don't want nor need any encouragement for our daughter to get comfortable being away from mommy and daddy. In short, mind your business and let us parent how we want to parent. If something we do is detrimental to our daughter's health and well-being in your mind then talk to one of us about it. That doesn't mean we will agree with you, but I will definitely give you an attentive ear.
On a positive note, I am very pleased with how well both sets of immediate family have allowed us our freedom in parenting. You guys vocalize here and there, but overall you let our wishes for raising our kid be what goes and not what you think is best. I am seriously grateful for this. It makes in-law relations on both sides easier. The only thing I ask is that if you feel like you have to tiptoe on eggshells around us then we need to talk because that is not healthy.
Thanks for reading!
Keith, a.k.a. Daddy Moose
We do not make plans as an individual without checking with each other first. If I want to spend some time with a friend of mine then I will make sure that I have not been neglecting my wife and child with my school, housework, yardwork, etc... to where this will further alienate me from them. I have a responsibility to my wife and kid(s) to be a husband and a father before I have a responsibility to be a friend to someone else. I do believe in the importance of friendship outside of my spouse, however, my best friend needs to be my spouse and maintaining the health of that friendship is tantamount above all other relationships. If more people thought along these lines then you might see a drop in the divorce rate in our country, but that is not a guarantee considering how many factors go into a decision to separate from covenant vows.
Another example is with our daughter. We do not put her in nurseries or any sort of childcare. I am not going to let a family friend watch her, and barely will we let our own families watch her. People keep telling us, and I believe behind our backs at that, that we need to learn to let others watch her so we can have "us" time or so they can get time with our daughter. That is our call to make. First off, I only know a handful of people intimately to where I know if they are a pedophile or not. Sorry family, but if we don't talk about your vices in advance and only talk about the weather and safe subjects then you are not on the list of approved people. Honesty and transparency are key to watching our daughter. Moreover, I want our daughter to see her mommy and daddy in love and creating a healthy marriage. I want her to learn how to worship, understand the sermon, and fellowship at church (a book that has helped us find support for keeping our kid in service is called Parenting in the Pew). Thankfully we are not the only ones doing this one as is evident by how many others we see keeping their kids of all ages in church with them. If our daughter does not want to come to you then DO NOT pry her from her mother's arms. Somebody will end up with a bloody nose before this over with because my wife's patience is about shot on this one. So if you were thinking about doing this then stop yourself now. We don't want nor need any encouragement for our daughter to get comfortable being away from mommy and daddy. In short, mind your business and let us parent how we want to parent. If something we do is detrimental to our daughter's health and well-being in your mind then talk to one of us about it. That doesn't mean we will agree with you, but I will definitely give you an attentive ear.
On a positive note, I am very pleased with how well both sets of immediate family have allowed us our freedom in parenting. You guys vocalize here and there, but overall you let our wishes for raising our kid be what goes and not what you think is best. I am seriously grateful for this. It makes in-law relations on both sides easier. The only thing I ask is that if you feel like you have to tiptoe on eggshells around us then we need to talk because that is not healthy.
Thanks for reading!
Keith, a.k.a. Daddy Moose
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Not so baby Constance
Whew! One would think that blogging weekly would be an easy task. My time is consumed with a sweet little girl with a big name. Constance. Before she became mobile I thought she kept me busy. Now that she is a walker…a very fast walker…my time is consumed with keeping track of her. Constance’s philosophy must be, “Why stay still when I can walk somewhere…or run.” From the moment she gets up to the moment she lays her head down at night, this child is moving! Her reach has expanded as well. Once we had a small juice glass crash to the ground because I thought it was far enough away on the table where she could not get it. I was wrong! The glass crashed and shattered and thankfully she did not get hurt. Just last night my husband put her in her high chair as we were getting ready to eat supper. He moved the bowl of corn muffins out of the way and went to the sink to wash her tray off. Just as happy as can be she reached as far as her chubby arms would let her and plucked several large pieces off the nearest muffin.
She is also so smart! She knows that keys are supposed to unlock doors and start vehicles. She knows to bring whatever object handed to her, to her daddy (or mommy) when you ask her to. She can point to all kind of animals on books when asked to point to them. Constance has also started making animal sounds. She can tell you what a cow says and can imitate what monkeys do. If you ask her if she is hungry or if she wants a snack she will head for the kitchen. If you ask her if she wants a bath, she will head to the bathroom. If you ask her if she wants to go outside you better be prepared to go because she is always ready to play outdoors!
Constance has discovered the joy of sitting on things. While outside she loves to sit down on the first step or on the curb just because she can. I guess they are perfect size for her and she feels like a big girl.
Speaking of being big. She jumped from wearing 12 month (and sometimes 18 month) winter clothes to wearing 2T! Yikes! She is still in a size 4 diaper. With Keith getting ready to be done with high school for the summer we are hoping to try some early potty training techniques. If it sticks, great! If it doesn’t then it is not a big deal.
She is also so smart! She knows that keys are supposed to unlock doors and start vehicles. She knows to bring whatever object handed to her, to her daddy (or mommy) when you ask her to. She can point to all kind of animals on books when asked to point to them. Constance has also started making animal sounds. She can tell you what a cow says and can imitate what monkeys do. If you ask her if she is hungry or if she wants a snack she will head for the kitchen. If you ask her if she wants a bath, she will head to the bathroom. If you ask her if she wants to go outside you better be prepared to go because she is always ready to play outdoors!
Constance has discovered the joy of sitting on things. While outside she loves to sit down on the first step or on the curb just because she can. I guess they are perfect size for her and she feels like a big girl.
Speaking of being big. She jumped from wearing 12 month (and sometimes 18 month) winter clothes to wearing 2T! Yikes! She is still in a size 4 diaper. With Keith getting ready to be done with high school for the summer we are hoping to try some early potty training techniques. If it sticks, great! If it doesn’t then it is not a big deal.
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